The Feeling of Loneliness
In recent months, I have felt lonely. It’s somewhat paradoxical because I’ve been living in the SpoluZemě Vrábsko community for over a year, and I’ve also lived in communities like Evolution Ecovillage, Terra Frutis, and Fruit Haven Ecovillage in Ecuador. Life in a community is beautiful, but it brings challenges that distract me from myself.
Challenges where my attention turns towards others rather than myself. I found myself thinking that people in the community were responsible for my feelings of loneliness. I forgot that the presence of others is primarily here to show me my current shortcomings.
Focusing on Inner Presence
Perception of the world stems from each of us. From within. What happens outside always corresponds to our inner state. Why did I overlook this simple fact and seek help from others instead of enjoying my divine presence?
Discovering Deeper Connections
Feeling lonely prompted me to focus on how I connect with others and with myself. Through this post, I would like to share with you what I have come to realize and how I personally forge deeper connections with others. Yes, including you!
The Power of Full Presence
I have discovered that full presence is crucial for me. Just as children demand our full attention, I demand it from others, reciprocating with my own. Words do not aid me in being attentive. On the contrary, I found that speaking disconnects me from myself. I cease to notice the subtle sensations on my skin and within my body. I cease to perceive the subtle energy of others’ bodies coming into contact with mine.
I enjoy simple being in wordless presence. When I have enough space to perceive what is happening inside me, I find that I go much deeper than I could during ordinary conversation. There are so many subtle impulses in the body that I cannot keep up with them. I need more time to discover what presence of another person arouses within me. Sometimes, I feel good in the presence of others. I feel relaxed, joyful, and loved. Other times, I feel discomfort, fear, and shame.
I notice that when I feel good in the presence of others, I remain silent and savor the feeling of bliss. At this moment, in addition to our energetic field, I am happy to connect through eye contact or physical touch. Time stands still, and I meditate on what is happening.
On the other hand, when I feel that another person’s presence evokes unpleasant feelings within me, I tend to flee. Physically or by hiding behind my words, I disrupt that contact in the present with some remark.
Invitation to Mutual Intimacy
So, if our energetic fields ever clash and I just stand there, without any words, I invite you to persevere in my presence as well. Believe me, that is the moment when I feel you the most. When I perceive what your presence communicates to me and what your mood is like. I don’t know what feelings I will experience within myself. What I do know is that this connection creates relational depth for me. It’s the simple act of being wordlessly in the presence of others that recharges me, where I feel good, relaxed, and at my strongest.
Because we are all different, I am curious: how do you build relationships with others? What is most important for you in your relationships with others? And what helps you penetrate beneath the surface of each of us and delve deeper?