How do we get from child flexibility to adult comfort when we stop wanting to change? And how can we relearn being open-minded help us understand life?
You Never Change!
Has anyone ever told you: “You will never change!” Whether they said it because of frustration, or they believed in it, the question remains. Do you believe you can change your character? Or are you among those who are happy to die the same person they were born?
From Child Flexibility to Adult Comfort
As children, we are elastic and flexible. We are curious, sometimes a bit inquisitive, and we ask about everything that is happening around us: “Mom, why is the man looking at me? What does this picture mean? And what about that one?” So open we are to all external stimuli that we form our opinions and worldview.
After a few years, we grow up. Only few questions are left unanswered. We know what’s good and what’s wrong. What we like and do not like. Whose company we look for and conversely whom we prefer to avoid. Little do we want to change our mind about all of our life aspects. Our view of the world is almost complete, we shift to neutral and we get to the stage of comfort. To the stage that has been deeply rooted in us from the beginning of time. This phase saves our energy and we love it. It’s our comfort zone.
Why We Do Not like Changes
Although we always adapt to the life situation in which we find ourselves, we have learned that every change in life is demanding and often hurts. Whether it’s a major change in life such as: ending a long-term relationship, changing a job or moving to a foreign country, or minor changes: a new update of your favorite app or the price rise for bananas, getting used to the new circumstances is always unpleasant to us. Change requires a new effort from us. Using additional energy so that we can get to our favorite and familiar state – our comfort zone.
My Story of Stubbornness
I have always been very stubborn. As stubborn as I am, I have never met anyone more stubborn than me. No one except my sister. But this story is about me.
I formed a worldview already in elementary school. The view that I did not want to change to the end of my life. I judged the things I did not like and loved the things I liked. The concept of discussion, I knew only from the perspective, when the other side handed me logical information with which I agreed. Everything else meant a quarrel on a knife-edge to me.
It did not take long before I hit the wall by this approach. I could not go any further, because, in my imagination, I knew only the way forward, not left, right, or backward. No longer possible it was to achieve my dreams located behind the wall. My whole world, I created in my childhood, was scattered. If I hadn’t wanted to keep bumping my head into this wall, the consciousness had to come. The realization that with such stubbornness I cannot continue.
With this realization, my eyes opened. I decided it was time to change my old habits. My earlier view of the world. Be open to change and finally begin to live. I no longer wanted to continue bumping into the walls created in my imagination. I wanted them slowly, but surely to tear down. Be free again, like a newborn child who knows only the truth and love.
No Man Ever Steps in the Same River Twice
A Greek philosopher Heraclitus came up with a simple metaphor to life, he once wrote:
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
Take a couple of minutes to reflect on the quote and try to answer yourself the following question: “Do you belong among those who stand in the river with their palms immersed in water trying to capture and stop the current, or among the others who are aware that the water is flowing continuously, whether we are going with it or not and so we enjoy all the extraordinary moments when a fresh stream of water passes around our body?”
Our Scenario to Life
Imagine that life is like a play of which we hold the first script draft in our hands. This scenario is available to all of our friends, acquaintances and random passers-by. Everyone can read it and some are kind enough to give us ideas for improvement. At this moment, it is up to us how we will face them. But by being open-minded, it will give us the possibility to edit the script or leave it as it is.
Why Being Open-Minded, Is the Key to Understanding Life
Let’s philosophize about who we are, what life is about and about the whole universe. Is there any difference? Am I separated from Earth or from the Universe? Or am I, you, and everything else part of one consciousness, one energy? Do you believe in string theory, which we all know from the Big Bang Theory? Or are you still thinking that the Earth is flat?
Answers to such questions are not as important as our ability to keep asking. Stay curious and open to both old and new ideas and conclusions coming from all sides. Do not judge these views. Be open-minded. This is the true path to understanding life and being open-minded, is its key.
Let’s Be Open-Minded
Being open-minded in today’s dynamic world is one of the most important attributes you can learn. Just like no man ever steps in the same river twice. You will never experience the exact same event. The world is constantly changing both with us and without us. We are part of it and it is only up to us to accept this fact or to fight it for the rest of our lives.
The difference between a stubborn and open-minded man is in our potential. The mental growth of those belonging to the first group will stop after a few years, while the growth of those belonging to the second group is unlimited.
So then, next time we find ourselves in a situation that is unknown to us. The situation we normally run away from. Neither run away nor fight it. Try to accept it and with all your heart open to it.
Let’s open up to the life, the changes that it brings us and finally start living.
This is the sixth article in the series:
The beginning of my journey
- Nobody Is Perfect
- Where Do I Belong? 3 Groups That Characterize Us.
- Who I Want to Be? A Brief Reflection on Life.
- How to Be Happy: Reflection on Long-Term Happiness
- 8 Positive Habits That Will Change Your Life Quality
- Why Being Open-Minded, Is the Key to Understanding Life
- How Did I Get from Personal Development to Spirituality
- The Ego and Mind, Our Two Best Friends or Worst Enemies?
- Concentration Gate to Calm the Mind
- Everyone Is Perfect
- The Key to Happiness in the Modern World